Okay, this is one bit of advice that may cause you to grind your teeth, but here it is nonetheless: Considering a healthy compromise in some areas.
That probably flies in the face of what you’d rather do by instinct, which is to go for everything you can grab if for no other reason than spite. But this is the time you have to set aside feelings having to do with a failed relationship: divorce is more of a business arrangement and needs to be dealt with as such. In business, the essence of a well-executed deal may involve compromise at one or more levels; giving a little in one area may gain you more of what you were hoping for in another area.
There are also some other benefits to compromise that may not seem immediately obvious. One is that divorce proceedings can be stressful enough as is; if you’re willing to compromise in some perhaps non-critical areas it could save you unneeded headaches. For that matter, it could also save in legal fees as well – the more your legal time has to fight something, the more it’s going to cost you.
The final benefit? Hey, you never know – maybe if your spouse sees that you’re willing to compromise that may make them more willing to do so, which could be to your benefit at some point down the line.
As always, every situation is unique. This series is intended to “start the thinking process” to take emotive choices out of a hard situation. Everyone’s situation is different, and this is not intended as legal advice. Please, speak to a divorce attorney prior to making any decisions, especially decisions based on a simple blog post. There are many mitigating factors that will go into the final divorce decree.